Scars
by XMytho-LogicX
Summary: Everyone has scars. It's only a matter of if you can see them. Remus and Sirius remember seeing each other for the first time, seeing each others scars for first four times, and seeing Harry for the first time !Wolfstar! Gay
1. Chapter 1

Remus

The first time I saw him was on platform nine and the quarters on my first year.

He was leaning against the wall, wearing expensive blue jeans and a large ebony leather jacket. He had luscious long black hair that he kept running a pale hand through, mischievous dark almost black eyes, and bright pink lips that were pulled into a smirk.

He was standing next to a shorter boy with circular silver glasses and short messy black hair, but at the moment his glasses were being held aloft by the first boy.

On his other side sat a heavy set boy with a babyface and short sandy blonde hair.

Sirius

The first time I saw him was in the Hogwarts sorting ceremony.

I didn't see him until McGonagall announced, "Remus Lupin" and he climbed onto the stool.

I was sitting at the head of the Gryffindor table so I had a clear view of the claw marks that raked his face from one eyebrow to his chin in a nearly perfect set of three lines.

He had scars all over his bare skin and I figured he probably had more underneath his robes. I wondered where he got them.

He had shaggy brunette hair, dark green eyes with bags underneath them, and tanned skin that looked like he got it from spending a lot of time outside.

"Gryffindor!" the sorting hat bellowed.

He looked directly at me and i gave him a slow wink.

"Flirting?" James chortled, elbowing Peter, who nodded.

Remus sat down next to James and I smirked, "I'm Sirius. This is James and Peter."

Remus

The first time I saw his scars was in our first year.

He was changing after quidditch practice and didn't realize I was asleep because the curtains were drawn to keep out the light.

He was being loud like usual and woke me up, but before I could yell at him, I saw his arms.

I'd never seen his bare arms before and now I understood why he wore long sleeves even when it was hot.

There were scars wrapping around both arms in the same places as if he'd used them to shield himself.

For some reason I was surprised; in the time I'd known him, he'd always been proud of any scars he got, but I'd never seen these ones before.

However he'd gotten them, he was ashamed.

Sirius

The first time I saw his scars was in our second year.

He said he was sick again.

We thought he had some kind of chronic illness because it happened every month. And he did, but not what we were thinking of. He should have told us. We wouldn't have hated him.

I stayed awake one night to see him taking his shirt off by wandlight.

His back was to me and I could see claw marks raking up and down it. One lead from the middle of his back at his shoulder blades to his arms.

All of them looked self-inflicted.

He slipped on a loose holy shirt and closed the door, murmuring, "Nox."

Remus

The second time I saw his scars, they were new.

It was the first day at Hogwarts in our third year and he came back bloody, but none of us knew until James grabbed his arm because he refused to take his jacket off.

We wouldn't leave until he explained what they were and how he got them.

"I'm the white sheep of my family," he told us as I cut away the red sleeves of his white dress shirt. "It's supposed to toughen me up, make me more cynical. Like them."

James rampaged about the room in a fury caused by his protectiveness, but Peter made him sit down.

"We should tell somebody," Peter whimpered, his lower lip trembling.

We all knew Peter was a bloody coward, but he always had our backs even if it wasn't outrageously obvious.

Sirius talked both of them down (James from killing a Black and Peter from _ratting_ anyone out unless it was Snivelus.) and they left, promising to let him fight his own battles, but I stayed behind.

"Go catch up with them," he ordered me.

I shook my head before crouching down by my bed and pulling out a medical kit. "And let you bleed out? Who would talk to James about hair?"

His eyes widened a little as I pulled out a stitch kit, but didn't react until I was done.

For some reason, I figured he wouldn't be inclined to help me take care of him, so I unbuttoned his shirt with a trembling hand.

His breathing hitched and I could feel his heart beating faster.

"What-?" he asked, not finishing.

Not finishing because I forced his head up with mine, kissing him.

For a second, he didn't do anything then he started kissing back.

It was really soft. Softer than I thought a boy's lips would be.

Then he seemed to snap out of it and shook his head before grabbing a clean shirt from his trunk and putting it on. "Thank for the stitch, moons."

I watched, confused as he left.

It had felt like he enjoyed it, so why did he shut down?

Sirius

The second time I saw his scars was a week after the first full moon of our third year.

I hadn't been alone with him since the first day because I had purposely made it that way, but James was off hitting on Lily Evans and Peter was nowhere to be found.

"Merlin, Moons," I growled. "This is getting bad."

"It's fine," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "Can you just-?"

I dragged a finger down his spine and he shivered, but it was a different kind. Not out of fear, but something else.

"Your family…" he mumbled. "Your scars…"

"Yes. And yours?"

Turning his head, he rested it on my neck. "I…"

"I'm a Werewolf," he gasped, burying his face in his hands, sobbing quietly.

All of us knew he was and he knew we knew, but he'd never said it outloud before and it meant a lot that I was the first person he'd told.

"It's okay," I promised, wrapping my arms around him.

Remus

The third time I saw his scars was at the end of our third year.

After months of preparations and brewing, the last step of becoming an Animagus was going to be completed. The potion smelled awful.

All three of my friends were practically naked so I kept myself trained on the magical components.

"Alright boys. Drink up." I announced, handing them beakers.

Sirius winked at me and drank the potion like a shot. I swallowed and looked away, willing the hotness and tightness in my chest would go away.

James and Peter waited to drink theirs until he changed into a small black puppy.

"Merlin, Sirius!" I giggled, kneeling down to play with one of his front paws. 'Look at your little pads!"

"Cut little padfoot," James teased. "Will we be babies too?"

I nodded and Peter drank his, grimacing a little, before turning into a little gray rat with a tail that looked like a worm.

James dubbed him wormtail.

James drank his and became a small fawn with little wobbly legs and a gryffindor scarf wrapped around his neck.

I dubbed him Prongs and we became the Marauders.

Sirius

The third time I saw his scars was the first full moon of our fourth year.

I promised him he would never spend another one alone and we went out as animals to keep him company.

James and Peter fell asleep, but I stayed up with him until he had to go meet McGonagall so that I could kiss him and make him blush.

After he left, I decided it was time to wake the others and the three of us snuck out under James' invisibility cloak.

His scars were fresh because he was scratching his back with long sharp claws, leaving bloody pink streaks in his dark brown fur.

He was biting himself too.

It was the first time I'd seen him as a Werewolf and he was larger, furrier, and sharper.

His face was elongated into a snout and his legs were bent backwards at the knees.

His howls spoke of self-hatred and isolation until he noticed us.

At first he was acting predatory, crouching down and snuffing quietly, until he recognized our scents and became playful.

I could smell his normal scent, but there was also a muskiness that I only smelled when James hit on Lily Evans.

Ever since I'd become an Animagus, I'd been noticing Remus even more.

Small details like how he always smelled like chocolate and pine (and wet dog, which I assume is Werewolf), how his heartbeat spd up when I entered the room, and how his eyes glittered when he was focused on a book.

James said he was a lot more aware of sounds and Lily, the goody-two-shoes headgirl of Gryffindor.

Peter just got better at finding food. He actually found a secret entrance into the kitchen involving a portrait and a ticklish pear.

Before we'd entered the shrieking shack (which had the entrance hidden beneath the Whomping Willow which could be frozen be pressing a knot at its trunk) his howls had been heart-wrenching and I think that's when I began to realize that physical scars aren't as bad a others.

Maybe everyone had scars, but some were just more obvious.

Remus

The fourth time I saw his scars was Christmas of our fourth year.

James and Peter had both gone home for the holidays, but we always stayed behind.

Being sorted into Gryffindor had widened the gap between Sirius and his family, but I could tell it was getting worse.

I was laying on my bed, watching Pads unbutton his shirt.

We'd had plenty of stolen kisses, but this was the first time we didn't have to hide because it was just us.

Not that we were officially together, but it was all the same when neither of us showed interest in anyone else.

I was shirtless too, wearing his leather jacket because he knew I liked to keep my back covered.

"I realize I look hot, but try not to stare," he joked.

I couldn't tell if he was using his humour to protect himself from how strong my feelings were or he was just nervous about being so completely alone with me.

I pulled him down next to me and nuzzled my face into his bare chest in a motion that I'd meant to be comforting and cute, but made him intake sharply.

I pulled back, laying my head against him and he started breathing regularly again.

We spent almost the entire night kissing and cuddling, until we heard footsteps coming up the boys staircase.

In fact there were plenty of voices from the loud buzzing coming from the common room.

Sirius sat up, buttoned his shirt, and took his jacket back as fast as he could and got out of my bed.

I closed the curtains, threw a blanket over myself, and rolled over.

"Sirius!" James shrieked, bursting into the room. "Remus! The train got attacked!"

I tore out of bed as fast as I could, but got the blankts tangled with my foot and fell on the floor.

James and Peter were standing there looking frightened and angry.

Sirius transfigured the beds into a giant elaborate blanket fort and Peter looted some food from the kitchens so we all gathered inside it, eating silently.

"What happened?" I demanded, taking a bite of chocolate.

Usually seeing my chocolate obsession makes him smile, but instead Sirius stayed sober.

"Some deatheates attacked when we pulled into the platform. They killed some of the upperclassmen and someone's muggle parents. A lot of people got hurt."

"What about you guys?" Sirius asked.

"We wanted to wait until the crowd died down," Peter explained. "And our parents were waiting in the station."

Everyone stopped and I kind of leaned into Sirius, trying to stop shaking.

I saw James look of understanding, but now wasn't the time.

"I'm glad you two are okay," Sirius sighed, smiling shyly.

Sirius

The first time I saw him was at the hospital, wrapped in a tacky knitted Gryffindor blanket. I was a little worried about what James would do if he didn't become a Gryffindor, but now wasn't the time.

He had a couple hairs that looked like James' horrendous mop of black hair and Lily's luminescent green eyes.

It was a wizarding hospital as far as I knew because things were floating around the nursery and the nurses didn't bat an eye.

His name was harry and I was his godfather.

Remus

The first time i saw him was at Godric's Hollow, two weeks after he was born.

I'd wanted to show up at the hospital, but it aligned with the full moon.

He was an adorable baby already showing a few black strands of hair and his eyes were brighter than Lily's.

The mother was tired, but content and her usually well-groomed hair was messy and knotted.

Even with a newborn child, James was still child-like himself.

"I still can't believe she didn't let me name him Fawn," he pouted.

"Fawn's a girls name He'd get bullied," she retorted, putting Harry in his cradle.

"He's a Potter," James gasped dramatically. "He's going to be more popular than me!"

She gave me an exasperated look. "We are the only normal people here."

"I wouldn't say he's _normal_ ," Sirius said, smirking perversely.

Lily and I groaned.

"So does that make you Harry's godfather too?" James asked.

I smiled widely, thinking about where my life had come.

All because of a couple scars.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus

The second time I saw him, I thought he was James. I was half-asleep and there was a dementor at the compartment door.

As I tried to shield us, Harry fell and went unconscious. Eventually, we were able to wake him up and I gave him some chocolate.

Ever since…

I don't like it anymore.

He had a scar on his head, that looked like the hand movements for the killing curse.

The curse that…

He didn't know who I was. For him, I was just another DADA professor.

My scars were splitting around the edges, the emotional ones anyways.

He had her green eyes hidden behind round glasses. I don't know how he ended up with his glasses.

Voldemort did that. He took my best friends. He took Harry's parents…

The fifth time I saw his scars, they weren't hidden beneath long sleeves and dark shirts. They screamed out at me from his face. I looked old, but he looked ancient. Tragedy and false blame had aged him so much…

His name climbed out of my throat but got caught on my lips. I couldn't say it…

Years had passed from when we were in Hogwarts, but I saw it in his face when he looked at Nymph. The pain, the betrayal…

But I loved her, maybe as much as I'd loved him.

Muggles say the first love is the worst. I think they're right.

I never thought I'd live long enough to see all my friends die…

James and Lily, dead before Harry was old enough to remember them

I thought I'd lost Peter and that Sirius had killed him. I'd been there when his finger was given to his mom.

Then the betrayal when I realized what he'd done. It was all his fault. Everything that happened was his fault. He killed James and Lily, he got Sirius-...

I've buried all of my friends…

Harry

I wandered the school, looking at all the cots…

The Weasleys crying by Fred's body.

So many hurts, so many more dead.

But then I looked over at the elder groups…

Remus and Tonks… Oh god…

The two of them had their eyes open though they could no longer see out of them and they were looking at each other, their hands almost touching.

Teddy...


End file.
